Oh well, I guess mengyee does really love priscilla a lot. But on a second thought, it seems to me like mengyee is just making use of priscilla's body. He uses it to fulfil his needs? Stupid bastard, his face disgust me. Stupid son of a bitch, and priscilla is like a despo. Adulterous couples.

Thank God jovan messaged me! Will I be together with him? And I got to talk to him! Oh my goodness! Let God decide our fate I guess. God give me an answer please! Also got back our mid-year examination results. What the hell I failed 3 subjects, which is my combined science, combined humanities and elementary mathematics. They are all heavy subjects and I can't possibly fail them. How am I even going to enter a polytechnic? Next saturday, I don't know how the parent-teacher thing is going to turn out. Lord, help me please!

Oh my Goodness, today got back some exam results already. My combined humanities scored like 40/100. *Strawberry*
Lord, she has been gone from me already. Why can't I just forget about it?

He told me it is only 10%, what the hell.

Recently, I got to know jovan via talking to each other using sms. Where have I been all this while? He is like the right guy for me! When I choose guys, I would also judge them on how they sms, and he types the messages long and it is filled with emotions. I like him already, but aren't I being a little too flirt? It is fun to message him as he is the devil and I am the angel. His name is Jovan Khoo Yong Wen! Smiles, right now, he has been sms-ing me for two consecutive days. Hope that he will continue to sms me first, I had always been longing to talk to him. Thank God! Hallelujah. But God, is he the one for me? Is this Your plan? What is going to happen to us? Will I end up with him? Lord, please answer my prayers!

Exams are over, and daddy had made this deal with us. The deal is that my sister and I have to score B3's and A2's, or even A1's! But do you think that this is possible? I am already having difficulties getting B4's, plus I got most of the B4's is during term one. As you all know term one's test is easy, and if I can only get B4's in all my easy tests. What about my mid-year? I seriously don't have any confidence that I can get good grades, let alone getting a passing mark for every subject. I guess my church days are over, daddy wouldn't let us go to church services anymore. Those Christ-followers kept telling me to pray to God for help. I prayed and I prayed to Him, but dad's attitude to us is getting worser and worser day by day. I can't take this torment anymore!

Lord, I don't want to leave Y ou just because of my dad. You really made a deep impact in my life and You changed me a lot. At times I would wonder why did You let me suffer and at times I would constantly blame You because You weren't there for me and I can't feel Your prescence anymore. I feel so sad whenever You were not there for me. Lord! :'(

I really, really hate jolene a lot. Stupid dumbass, am I really going to backslide soon? I really love God a lot and I know that He had done a lot for me. I don't know what to do now. God help me!

Jolene is really getting on my nerves, meet for caregroup or shepherding? Can't you just concentrate more on your studies? You will fail your O levels if you carry on like this. Sheesh...

Do I really love hanif? Or am I just being a despo? I like jackson for who he is but I don't really like his looks. No offence, seriously. Who am I?

Stupid idiot, why must jiahui tell joyce tan that I have got myself a boyfriend? What the hell is going to happen next? God!!

I love my mum and dad a lot. How can I express myself out? I really love them a lot, I can't bear to see them leave this world. God can you help me? I am feeling so down right now.

No one knows how I feel, I hate jolene lau a lot. But I just can't figure out why. I find it so irritating whenever she talks to me. I feel so irritated whenever I looked at her face, Lord, why must she be my shepherd? One word to describe her, IRRITATING! There is nothing much I can do now. Jiahui asked me this,"will there still be KUKU?" What had happened before? Why didn't I want it in the first place? She is nice and I don't really expect much from her thou. Kuku family is back, love you guys a lot.

I don't get why does cuizhen wants to have me as her God-sister? She always wants to seek attention from me and I know it. I don't know how to carry on like this, she is a nice person plus i appreciate that she tops up my prepaid card. Do I like her for her money? Mengyee and priscilla are together already. I feel so stupid for saying that I miss another guy, it is too late now. TOO LATE! Lord, I am crying out to you, I am desperate to have him back. I don't love terence at all, I only treat him as a substitute. I am so sorry.

I got a math common test tomorrow and yet I think I practically did not study for it at all. It is like I was day-dreaming in the study room the whole day. I told myself I wanted to get good grades in my mid-year examinations. But I am not taking actions! Isn't it so contradicting? God, please help me. I don't like accepting help from my dad because he gives me more pressure, means he gives us a lot of practices and examination papers. Many people said that this is a good thing, but I just don't like it. Why can't anyone just understand me? I want to sought help from people around me, but why can't I just change my mindset first? What is my first step? Lord, help me out here please, I am really heading in the wrong direction. Cries!

I just want to talk about people here in my private blog. Joyce Tan had left the district and went to look after the yishun girls. I was devastated when I heard the news, people thought that would not influence my feelings. But I was defintely heart-broken, and even thou my time with her isn't that long, I am still sad. Now, I can only see her in decor. Plus this week I got adam khoo workshop, so I cannot go for decor next week. I doubt I would be able to catch a glimpse of her on saturday. God why must you separate me from her? Just as we were getting along well with each other, You had to separate her from me. They all say that it is because of growth, maybe I should just accept the fact and let go. She is a very friendly and out-going person, I loved admired her when I first saw her at kaien's house after the Christmas service. I never expected our friendship to carry on till now. I was really, really touched when she gave me that cd, wanted to cry when I saw finish. I am really going to miss her a lot. It is fate that brought us together and maybe that is God's plan. Hope we will still stay in contact and our friendship stay strong.

Still got quite a lot of people to say, am I treating jolene fairly? I don't think so, why can't I just accept her for who she is? I don't want to reject her just because of her outer looks. I don't want to judge her by her size or looks, or even the way she does things. I just want to adapt to the changes quickly. Lord, help me please. Do I really love terence? Or do I have feelings for hanif? But I already promised joyce I would not have a boyfriend and I will always put God first. Is it really hard to reject a guy? God help me! PLEASE

Opening a private blog, I don't want others to know about this blog.

People just don't get how I feel sometimes, feel so emotional at times. What was I thinking?