I got a math common test tomorrow and yet I think I practically did not study for it at all. It is like I was day-dreaming in the study room the whole day. I told myself I wanted to get good grades in my mid-year examinations. But I am not taking actions! Isn't it so contradicting? God, please help me. I don't like accepting help from my dad because he gives me more pressure, means he gives us a lot of practices and examination papers. Many people said that this is a good thing, but I just don't like it. Why can't anyone just understand me? I want to sought help from people around me, but why can't I just change my mindset first? What is my first step? Lord, help me out here please, I am really heading in the wrong direction. Cries!

I just want to talk about people here in my private blog. Joyce Tan had left the district and went to look after the yishun girls. I was devastated when I heard the news, people thought that would not influence my feelings. But I was defintely heart-broken, and even thou my time with her isn't that long, I am still sad. Now, I can only see her in decor. Plus this week I got adam khoo workshop, so I cannot go for decor next week. I doubt I would be able to catch a glimpse of her on saturday. God why must you separate me from her? Just as we were getting along well with each other, You had to separate her from me. They all say that it is because of growth, maybe I should just accept the fact and let go. She is a very friendly and out-going person, I loved admired her when I first saw her at kaien's house after the Christmas service. I never expected our friendship to carry on till now. I was really, really touched when she gave me that cd, wanted to cry when I saw finish. I am really going to miss her a lot. It is fate that brought us together and maybe that is God's plan. Hope we will still stay in contact and our friendship stay strong.

Still got quite a lot of people to say, am I treating jolene fairly? I don't think so, why can't I just accept her for who she is? I don't want to reject her just because of her outer looks. I don't want to judge her by her size or looks, or even the way she does things. I just want to adapt to the changes quickly. Lord, help me please. Do I really love terence? Or do I have feelings for hanif? But I already promised joyce I would not have a boyfriend and I will always put God first. Is it really hard to reject a guy? God help me! PLEASE

Opening a private blog, I don't want others to know about this blog.

People just don't get how I feel sometimes, feel so emotional at times. What was I thinking?